Honestly, Christmas is a let down. I rushed around tonight trying to make dreams come true.. Oh bother..vanity. Rat race. Everyone was passionate tonight. ..reaching goals at the last minute.. It does not matter though. Family …& personal friendships matter.. wrap your gifts up with a heart full of love & forgiveness. Gifts don’t really matter if they’re not heartfelt & personal anyway.  Scorps…be quiet with your thoughts…;)



Life is funny. Ha! As my friend says, sometimes life serves up a shit sandwich..and you are forced to take a big bite. I know..yuck!I hate those words but they are true. We may have people in our lives..but we are also alone. We all have personal journeys that we need to walk alone..even when we have people. Our lives are so intimate and very sacred. Cherish the moments..difficulties and joy..all of it is YOU.

Finally, a breakthrough!

spiritual 2

“The only thing that is real never changes.” Bhagavad Ghita This had perplexed me for some time. I get it! Be in the now..escape the confines of your mind. This too, was out of reach because I have never escaped my mind…not for a minute. I also could not wrap my head around the idea that nothing in this moment is just the story created and made into form by the mind.
The only thing that is real never changes (BG) – Simplified, if you can’t take it with you when you die it is not eternal. What does that leave? Today I realized it is just your connection to the higher power. Connectedness, love, divinity, God, higher power.. whatever you call it. That’s all that is left. That is all we are here for is to live more fully in that light.. Any physical or emotional state is fleeting. Jobs, images, titles, belongings, power, poverty, sickness, health, feelings. It all goes when we go. It disappears as if it never was. Eventually it is just an illusion that slips away from our innermost being as we transcend this physical form. Think about it..really! We are here for a bit..Why? We are given this gift of life (oxymoron)..for what? We suffer. We rejoice. We feel. We’re numb. We cry. We laugh. And it all just slips away into nonexistence over time. So my revelation today is that all of that is just our physical form that changes constantly. What lasts? When is the last time you were in touch with only your eternal perfect self? When do you feel the silent stillness of your deepest being?..the essence of your soul and its connection to your Source. Those moments when nothing matters and your mind is quiet. You just feel that “All Knowing” peace that can permeate your being. When everything is just ok and its not up to you or your accomplishments or lack of to make sense of your existence. You just “are” and that is more than enough. Today I let go of fear and anger and disappointment and everything that limits me. I just “am” and that is plenty for what matters. Peace to your soul and Thank You to those who were set in my path to help me really get it.

All my Love,




I’m 100% completely convinced that we reap what we sew. Karma is alive & well. We have all the power to create our destiny. We are 100% responsible for our lives & choices. Whatever we put out, we get back. It ALWAYS comes back! I’m sure of it. If you put out love & compassion it grows and expands in life. If you put out hatred & jealousy & selfishness it manifests in your life. Yuck! It follows and haunts you. Wanting nothing to do with that negativity.. I prefer to attract joy..So I put out joy….& gratitude & peace..hoping for truth and beauty for everyone. Peace to you & me & all.

Her soul needed a hug!

She always wears a keeps her safe from her truth.
Because who can hate a smile? It’s the perfect costume.
In her eyes there’s a deep pain sheltered in her soul. It’s so obvious. Her smile is just a shield. She believes it is protecting her… it feels better, safer than the truth. For now! For now it protects her heart from the harsh realities bubbling within. Those realities are to much.. Noone could possibly understand her mess. Slowly life nudges her, without her consent. Life slowly takes over and turns her smile to allow room for healing. It scares her. It’s too much. It’s painful. It’s ripping away at her safe attachments. It hurts! She’s emptied..completely emptied..alone with this vessel of a body. She has nowhere to turn. She’s alone with herself. Everyone around is silenced. Then slowly her emptiness creates room for light. Her darkness is penetrated and ever so slowly she allows the light more and more space. It’s no longer frightening. It’s warm and beautiful. She cries tears of regret for her soul that she hushed for so long. The warm embrace of this lost light is overcoming and she falls in love. It’s a perfect love that is truth, beyond her understanding. It’s all she ever wanted, but she fought it relentlessly. She’s in the embrace of pure love and its perfect. Nothing else matters! All is well with he Continue reading

lemonsLemonade.. not a big fan. Typically, lemonade is either to sweet or to bland…for me. I don’t like lemonade, especially from bad lemons. When life gives me lemons..I never want to make lemonade…I get mad. Then I laugh. Then I cry. Then I throw the lemons away. I really don’t like being told to make lemonade out of life’s lemons. If life is throwing lemons..something is wrong. Either something is wrong with self or some external negative influence is raining on your parade. Either way I’m not going to be busy making a drink. First, I’m going to look at myself and see if I am manifesting bad lemons. If its me then I need to get busy look at myself. However, I am learning to not just assume that it is all me. Our lives are constantly impacted by those around us. Not everyone is on the up and up honest path. We’re all here for different purposes and we all have responsibility for our lives but also how we impact one another and their paths. We are all connected and have responsibility for our actions and how we affect ourselves and others. Ultimately, it all comes down to us as individuals. We will all see ourselves and our actions clearly one day. I genuinely want to be one who has created more light than dark while here in this cruddy body on Earth. I don’t want to look back and review my life with sorrow. I want to be humble and as guiltless as possible when I meet my maker. I want be confident that I was a vessel of hope, love and happiness in this existence. Lemons..HA!! Not concerned to much about all the little stuff here. Im concerned more with the parts of me that will move on and reconnect with my God. But for now, I’m here…struggling to smile and be joyful looking at this life that is painful and beautiful and unknowing. I have faith! In More! Beyond this destination!

When life gives you lemons..make lemonade.


Taking a moment to reflect on a good chunk of time off Facebook. It was good, however it is impossible to have any idea what is going on with those near and far without this required network. The disconnect period was AMAZING. I completely forgot about phone died regularly. It was wonderful. I guess we go through times when we need to put things in perspective and go into solitude. I just went through that. Since I came out of this solitary freedom Ive had amazing connections with people. Its as if all the social anxiety and projection melted away. Suddenly, I was coming in contact with many others who seem to need the same disconnect but haven’t realized it. I have also spoken with a few who have never joined. My point is, face to face contact is amazing. I love that personal interaction. Although FB can certainly keep us in touch and in the loop, it could never replace the significance of a face to face exchange. You can blog your heart away to a million people that matter nothing or Status others to death with what your thinking, feeling or eating. These exchanges are a fool’s gold compared to being vulnerable and present to the one’s you love or the people you randomly have chances to exchange thoughts and ideas with in a face to face situation when you can look at them and feel their energy.

Growing up!

Being in the thirties is so weird. Many of us are doing the family thing with kids and many of us aren’t. It can be hard to relate to one anothers challenges and life experiences. We all took different paths at some point during our past 10 or so years Some have been educated in the homelife and others have been educated in schools. I have dear friends who are in completely different living situations. I love getting their perspective in the adolescence of our adulthood. We have something in common. We all act like we know something and we all know little. I think real wisdom comes in the fourth decade. Until then, we are all surviving and hoping for the best after we exit our twenties. If we have escaped our twenties with any wisdom, which comes from dramatic and hard experiences..we’re bound to have some!..then mabe we feel entitled to spurt some wisdom. Perhaps it is our “responsibilty” to say we walked through the knee deep snow to school..Or perhaps, we are here to tell the next generation, our children or someone else, that we know life is difficult. Twenties are a time to find yourself and thirties are a time to act like you found yourself. Truth is, we all need to do some more growing. A lot of deeper stuff happens in the late thirties and forties. I believe this is where wisdom lies. We may have lived half our life at this point. Many have endured divorce, chronic loneliness, or pursuing a path that landed them in a place they don’t like. Here is true wisdom. Suffering and toil brings us wisdom worth sharing. We can spout off random advice or wisdom now but it is plastic because we have to endure more. Once we go through real turmoil we can advise others, especially kids. Before then we need to understand that we are in our trying times and we should beware to project our trials on others. We are baby adults and we need to be careful examples..because we just left the infancy of adulthood. Kids listen to us.

How did I get here?

Life is funny..the way it takes you for a ride. As I age time eludes me. It’s amazing how life evolves and pieces are placed so strategically, seemingly without my effort. I ended up in the “South”..Virginia. Having grown up in Northern Michigan, which I proudly claim as my pride, joy & roots, I never would have expected to live here. However, I adore VA. Less winter, more green!  l just knew I wouldn’t  have kids until late twenties. Hmm. I have 3 and my first bundle arrived at 23. He changed everything. As a kid, I figured I would rent a tiny cottage for me alone. What? I own a home with MY husband and love nurturing my land and making my home. I envisioned a life filled with my interests. Me! Me! & Me! Life took the steering wheel & took me to my true north. I love this life that I didn’t plan. I wake up in the morning next to my best friend, little feet running around in the hallway and voices calling out, Mooooom! I couldn’t have dreamt up this miracle. I’m so grateful that there’s something beyond me orchestrating this existence. We belong where we are. The miracles, the depth, the extraordinary, the surprises are beyond our imagination. Love your miracle…it’s a personal gift to you alone. You’re right where you need to be. Love it! 


Goodness, life can beat down hard. It can challenge us for long periods with difficult trials to endure, and it can pop up with surprise challenges out of a clear blue sky, when you least expect it. Either way we can’t always be on a mountain top. That’s for sure! Peaks & valleys are inevitable.
Our last freedom in any trial is choosing our state of mind. We can succumb to the overwhelming pressures or we can choose gratitude. Gratitude is sometimes tough when the victim role is waiting patiently for our weak moments. Nonetheless, gratitude gives freedom. When we answer the call of gratitude we are free. We are forced to see that we are here, at least for today. We are here to transcend our let downs and revel in the simple beauty of life. We are blessed despite our overwhelming circumstances. Look outside, its a perfect work of art for us to appreciate. The sky, the trees, the light shining just right. Look at our modern conveniences, electricity, plumbing, fresh water, transportation. But mostly, look at the people who choose to love you. Flaws and all. And the opportunity we have to reciprocate and share our deepest affections with them.
Life can serve up a tough dish. But always, we are free to look past to all we still have because if you’re still here you were given another day. Take it! Appreciate it! Honor it. It’s a gift for YOU!