Lately, I’ve been kinda bored. When I’m bored I’m ugly & resistant..argue with everything. Very childish. I’ve been trying to embrace a book recommended to me about vulnerability.. not going so well. Reading 1 page at a time…analyzing & resisting every bit of wisdom. I don’t want to be vulnerable, it’s safer here…being negative. I can loathe you because of the way you chew your food..literally. some eating habits are disturbing to me..to the point of exploding inside. But to focus on this & many other irritations is a safe excuse of a bubble. After all I’m really annoying too.But, focusing on the irritating behaviors of others is a lot safer..for me! Yet, it keeps me caged & distracted from personal growth and change. Contemplating what I’m avoiding in my boredom and day to day life. What do I really want out of this life and how to want “it” ..enough to change? That question is the extent of my vulnerability for today. I’m a wimp!
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today we’re the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer is ” No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. – Steve Jobbs