quiet reflection

Today was a quiet day at home, just the family all day. We stayed in our jammies for a good part of the day. It was just relaxing. So nice to not tend to obligations.

I’ve been thinking about connection & bonding lately and I had some time to read and research today. We had a snow day & Dave was off work so we were all together in our warm little home. I realized today, just how much I tend to disconnect & withdraw. Recharging is not something I can accomplish in a two hour window. I might need to go away alone in a mountain cabin for a month to experience self realization. Not happening any time soon.

Often, I feel like every moment is requests from outside of me..even though I get down time.Its overwhelming. Shame.Today I wanted to escape, but I called myself back.
Sydney was outside playing in the snow alone for over an hour. I watched her from the window but didn’t want to take the effort to go connect. Eventually,I couldn’t take it anymore so I suited up & went out. When I got out I realized she was lonely..playing, but lonely. I related to that& had a lot of sympathy for how lonely it can be as a human, even a child. I played with her. We built a snowman. It was fun. 

I read earlier today about self discipline & how we need to discipline ourselves to do the things we ultimately care about & I also read about being in the moment. This day gave me clarity. I can obsess over my needs because I’m buried, I am!  But what matters has to be priority. I can come up with a million to-do’ s to avoid connection, but connecting is what matters. Being there in the moment-present for those you love. Our people have needs and wishes too. They must be honored. Everyone wants to feel special & since our children can’t articulate that we have to rise to their needs. It’s hard! They will let us ignore their needs because they’re perfectly innocent, but what is more important? Feel ashamed that I don’t always appreciate the amazing blessing family is. What’s more important than family? Huge blessing…huge!

Train up a child in the way they should go, even when they’re old they won’t depart from it. Proverbs

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