Her soul needed a hug!

She always wears a smile..it keeps her safe from her truth.
Because who can hate a smile? It’s the perfect costume.
In her eyes there’s a deep pain sheltered in her soul. It’s so obvious. Her smile is just a shield. She believes it is protecting her… it feels better, safer than the truth. For now! For now it protects her heart from the harsh realities bubbling within. Those realities are to much.. Noone could possibly understand her mess. Slowly life nudges her, without her consent. Life slowly takes over and turns her smile to allow room for healing. It scares her. It’s too much. It’s painful. It’s ripping away at her safe attachments. It hurts! She’s emptied..completely emptied..alone with this vessel of a body. She has nowhere to turn. She’s alone with herself. Everyone around is silenced. Then slowly her emptiness creates room for light. Her darkness is penetrated and ever so slowly she allows the light more and more space. It’s no longer frightening. It’s warm and beautiful. She cries tears of regret for her soul that she hushed for so long. The warm embrace of this lost light is overcoming and she falls in love. It’s a perfect love that is truth, beyond her understanding. It’s all she ever wanted, but she fought it relentlessly. She’s in the embrace of pure love and its perfect. Nothing else matters! All is well with he Continue reading

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GRATITUDE

Goodness, life can beat down hard. It can challenge us for long periods with difficult trials to endure, and it can pop up with surprise challenges out of a clear blue sky, when you least expect it. Either way we can’t always be on a mountain top. That’s for sure! Peaks & valleys are inevitable.
Our last freedom in any trial is choosing our state of mind. We can succumb to the overwhelming pressures or we can choose gratitude. Gratitude is sometimes tough when the victim role is waiting patiently for our weak moments. Nonetheless, gratitude gives freedom. When we answer the call of gratitude we are free. We are forced to see that we are here, at least for today. We are here to transcend our let downs and revel in the simple beauty of life. We are blessed despite our overwhelming circumstances. Look outside, its a perfect work of art for us to appreciate. The sky, the trees, the light shining just right. Look at our modern conveniences, electricity, plumbing, fresh water, transportation. But mostly, look at the people who choose to love you. Flaws and all. And the opportunity we have to reciprocate and share our deepest affections with them.
Life can serve up a tough dish. But always, we are free to look past to all we still have because if you’re still here you were given another day. Take it! Appreciate it! Honor it. It’s a gift for YOU!

Life is forcing itself on me

unpredictable

Recently life has been teaching me the lesson, just let it go!….even if I don’t want to. I think the deletion of my Facebook account has officially run its 14 day reconsider phase. Deciding to permanently remove myself from Facebook was not my initial intention. I would occasionally deactivate it for a break, but I would get back on within a week clamoring for an easy connection. Then one day I was struck with insight. I realized that I had turned this distracting entertainment into a compulsive and very important part of life. Anyhow, after 2 weeks, I barely think about it until someone reminds me of my absence… I cringe at the thought of rejoining. Perhaps, one day…minus at least 200 “friends”. 

Another stupid seemingly important loss…my dishwasher! Omgoodness! I thought I was going to die. We’re doing a long term simple kitchen remodel. It makes no sense to replace the dishwasher until other things are completed. Again, I thought I was going to die of pruny hand syndrome. Certainly, it can’t be good to stand at the sink looking into a beautiful back yard while mindlessly washing dishes. Actually, after 2 months of feeling sorry for myself washing dishes for a family of 5, I actually enjoy this time. No one intrudes on dishwashing. It’s not a stimulating activity, unless you’ve been doing it for a while. Then it’s peaceful. 

These examples along with a few more circumstances of “loss”…I won’t bore you!…washing dishes is probably like watching paint dry if you have a dishwasher. Here, life is teaching me a lesson.  Half the crap I care about doesn’t matter after a period of disconnection. We are where we are because we need the lessons of now in our lives. Sometimes we need to step out and connect & other times we need to withdraw & retreat to our personal base self. Sometimes we need to move quickly and just survive with the pace of life.  Then other times, life forces us to stand at the kitchen window, washing dishes, so we can contemplate our life, quietly. Hmm! Alone in peace, I ponder words, writing, music, spirituality, wisdom, gardening. Alone, without influences, the sky is the limit in my solitude. 

Blogging, facebooking, twittering…etc.

Do you ever wonder why you blog? Or why you participate in any social interaction online? I’ve come to believe that we as a group crave more attention than what we have in front of us. Why is that not enough? I recently deleted my FB account….permanently. It’s strange to be so disconnected. I feel like a cast away at times. But, mostly it’s been good. I’ve recently had phone conversations and face to face experiences that I wouldn’t have had with the connected FB experience. The abundance of free time I have is amazing. I’m actually overwhelmed with the amount of free time I have. I wonder if we are numbing ourselves subconsciously. Perhaps we are seeking outwardly, what’s right in front of us…if we could just control ourselves enough to peel away from the screen & look. My experience of disconnecting has forced me to pay attention to those I care for because the distractions are gone. My question to you, what do you get from your connected online experience?