Her soul needed a hug!

She always wears a smile..it keeps her safe from her truth.
Because who can hate a smile? It’s the perfect costume.
In her eyes there’s a deep pain sheltered in her soul. It’s so obvious. Her smile is just a shield. She believes it is protecting her… it feels better, safer than the truth. For now! For now it protects her heart from the harsh realities bubbling within. Those realities are to much.. Noone could possibly understand her mess. Slowly life nudges her, without her consent. Life slowly takes over and turns her smile to allow room for healing. It scares her. It’s too much. It’s painful. It’s ripping away at her safe attachments. It hurts! She’s emptied..completely emptied..alone with this vessel of a body. She has nowhere to turn. She’s alone with herself. Everyone around is silenced. Then slowly her emptiness creates room for light. Her darkness is penetrated and ever so slowly she allows the light more and more space. It’s no longer frightening. It’s warm and beautiful. She cries tears of regret for her soul that she hushed for so long. The warm embrace of this lost light is overcoming and she falls in love. It’s a perfect love that is truth, beyond her understanding. It’s all she ever wanted, but she fought it relentlessly. She’s in the embrace of pure love and its perfect. Nothing else matters! All is well with he

GRATITUDE

Goodness, life can beat down hard. It can challenge us for long periods with difficult trials to endure, and it can pop up with surprise challenges out of a clear blue sky, when you least expect it. Either way we can’t always be on a mountain top. That’s for sure! Peaks & valleys are inevitable.
Our last freedom in any trial is choosing our state of mind. We can succumb to the overwhelming pressures or we can choose gratitude. Gratitude is sometimes tough when the victim role is waiting patiently for our weak moments. Nonetheless, gratitude gives freedom. When we answer the call of gratitude we are free. We are forced to see that we are here, at least for today. We are here to transcend our let downs and revel in the simple beauty of life. We are blessed despite our overwhelming circumstances. Look outside, its a perfect work of art for us to appreciate. The sky, the trees, the light shining just right. Look at our modern conveniences, electricity, plumbing, fresh water, transportation. But mostly, look at the people who choose to love you. Flaws and all. And the opportunity we have to reciprocate and share our deepest affections with them.
Life can serve up a tough dish. But always, we are free to look past to all we still have because if you’re still here you were given another day. Take it! Appreciate it! Honor it. It’s a gift for YOU!

Who is the dictator in our lives?

Do we create our own lives? How much of our lives are spent meeting the demands of “authorities”? From a young age we join systems that tell us that they know what is good for us. Parents, schools, religions and our families set out a map for our success. Our vulnerable innocent minds trust our elders and blindly follow their life prescriptions for our lives. We trust their wisdom.

Now, as an adult I seriously question the wisdom that was so lovingly poured into my innocent mind. I have my own kids now and I seriously question what I am passing on to them from my own life experience. I see their perfect minds and beautiful individuality. I don’t want to corrupt them with old rules and washed up wisdom. I do not want my kids to blindly trust the well trained authorities in place of their own judgment. The authorities are mostly people who have been trained on how to teach kids how to behave so they can fit quietly into the system. This is not a system of drawing an individual out. It is a system of fitting into the blueprint of mass obedience.

Most of us grew up in families with their own code of proper behavior. We were expected to carry the family name obediently and follow the rules of our tribe. Eventually, after the toddler years at home or daycare, the majority of us filed into public schools where we we became a tiny fish in a huge pond.  Little by little our individuality was scraped away. All while we thought we were being good obedient good children. We learned our core curriculum like good little kids. Perhaps we got a gold star or a personal chat with a teacher here and there. We rushed from class to class and learned a lot of stuff that couldn’t possibly be put together to create anything that made sense. Most of us had the same requirements in school and family despite the fact we are unique individuals. We all needed to learn the same way and we had to learn basically the same things. As if a musician needs to focus on the same classes as an engineer. It’s all crazy!

No wonder we flounder around confused and spouting fake wisdom as adults. A lot of us are just passing on the same example we had. Just say what you are told! Go to work, get the job done and then come home and teach your child the same thing. But, do you love your work? Do you think it matters? I honestly hope so. But many of us fill our time being grown students in a system where we have no say in who we want to be as adults. I say get rid of the system and just be who you are and raise children who are thoughtful intelligent beings despite the systems they are in. Don’t give up on what you know to be true.

Kids, teach your parents well!

Tonight was a much needed break from the ordinary cold and dreary 2014 night. It was beautiful out. I let the kids play until dark because it was gorgeous. It’s so nice to let the kids escape their routine, as if it was Summer!  I’m so relieved. It’s funny how  the weather affects our life. I wish their lives were Summer all year. The boys & neighbor boys escaped into outdoor Legos, nerf battles and scooter riding on our small Rosemont hill. The hill seems huge to them now..for a few more years. Remember visiting the playgrounds you thought were huge. But as an adult they are unimpressive? The girls took to archeology, digging up a relatively small hole. They uncovered glass and pointy rocks and coal. They were in heaven discovering their territory. There’s so much to learn, experience and enjoy in your own neighborhood. They don’t really need camps and programs and common core to stimulate them.

We don’t need to come up with more money or scholastic opportunities….that’s our adult flawed preoccupation. I think back to childhood while looking at my kids. I remember building forts, playing sports, and having battles with neighbors. That’s where the memories and life lessons are. It’s the childhood settings and home experiences that stick.

I asked 6 y.o. Jack today if he was interested in Summer camps. I explained that he could pick sports, academics, art or music to name a few. He looked at me and said, “I just like normal camping. When you are with your family in the woods, sleeping in a tent by a river. Children have the idea. Enjoy what’s important! Quit supplementing with distractions. Family, outdoors, indoors, friends, adventure and life in general. I believe that our kids teach us what we should value. If only we would clear the schedule enough to really Listen & Learn & Respond!

“Praying for you”

How often do we say or hear, “I’m praying for you!” Unfortunately these words are often used to ignore people and not care, ironically. Rather than carrying the weight they should, they are often a quick plastic response. These words are commonly the most dishonest words out there. “I’m praying for you” is regularly a quick excuse or convenient answer for not really giving a crap, a quick alternative for connection. How disturbing! To protect our comfort in the promise of a prayer. Maybe we are actually protecting ourselves from caring. What a disgrace. I hear people throw words around; The good lord, holy spirit, praying, Eucharist, forgiveness, even sending good vibes. What does this mean? Does it mean anything? Are the same people who claim to be caring the ones who don’t care? The words are all perfectly orchestrated, but the actions don’t match. Please, don’t say you are praying for someone if you are not going to do it. Noone needs fake promises of prayers. If you are going to throw those sacred promises around, then for God’s sake do it! Keep the promise of your prayers.

I just love you Becky, thats all!

I have a friend, Becky. She’s my neighbor, my go to girl. I can call her and request a coffee date anytime. She’s my opposite in so many ways. She is blunt, I’m not. She is Aquarius & Im Leo..opposite signs- incase you didn’t know. She is a conspiracy theorist, Im naïve. She homeschools, I cant imagine! She gripes honestly & I smile a fake smile. This girlfriend keeps me straight.

Everyone needs a close pal who is their opposite. They help us grow. They push us out of our comfort zone and challenge us. I visit Becky daily. She’s my neighbor& my confidant. I pour so much honesty on her you would think she would suffocate. But she doesn’t because she takes everything with a grain of salt. When I feel all intense, she grounds me in her realism. She puts everything in a logical place, unlike me.

Becky Is particularly special to me. Being a neighbor..I automatically love her! But she is a special neighbor, delivering baked goods bi-weekly. Who gets that special service? Me! Yum! Her iced coffee cake is beyond YUM!

But more than that I love how she shares her honest perspective. She challenges my thought processes in new ways. For example..I go to her feeling bad about complaining about my hubby and her response is, Men are weird and crazy. validation!.I go to her complaining about my kids and she says they are fricken annoying. I go to her complaining about education and she says don’t let your kids be brainwashed! Everything I bring to her is immediately met with an opposite response. What is better that a friend that naturally challenges you by playing an innocent devil’s advocate. Who can help you to grow more than a friend who cares about you and doesn’t succumb to all of your opinions. This is why I adore Rebecca..She is there but challenges me daily. Thank you friend. What a gift. What better gift can a friend offer than being real. I love your realism. It blesses me and keeps me thinking daily. xo